Time notes:
- 00:00:00 Introduction
- 00:01:58 Spiritual matriarchy from birth
- 00:06:30 Early spiritual experiences
- 00:10:00 Near-death experiences as a child
- 00:11:00 Knowledge making him an orphan
- 00:14:00 Spiritual experience with Baba Ramnath Aghori
- 00:22:56 Internal conflict around Ma, the divine goddess
- 00:28:00 Renunciation with Ma Annandamoyee
- 00:30:00 Leaving his family and material support, for spiritual life
- 00:34:00 Museum iconography consultant and designer
- 00:37:00 Confirmed as an Avadhuta
- 00:41:00 Self-initiated into Buddhist tantra
- 00:44:00 Why Vedas are not Khyapababa’s cup of tea
- 00:49:00 Comparing Christian Gnostic, Wrathful Sufi Order, and Leftist Tantra
- 00:55:00 2 Essences of cremation ground practice and 5 deaths
- 01:03:00 Taking obstacles as the game of life
- 01:08:00 Life beyond the world and dharmas
- 01:11:00 Meeting his spiritual partner and marrying at 60
- 01:15:00 Meaning of a tantric practitioner
- 01:16:00 On tantric partnership and 5 elemental relationship
- 01:23:00 Baul traditions historical Siddhas
- 01:30:00 Ngakpa robes, dreadlocks, and earrings
- 01:34:00 Non-importance and samadhi
- 01:38:00 Baba shares a doha by Lalan Shah Fakir of Kushthiya, Bangladesh,19th Century. “Lalan made it clear in his teaching songs that Vajrayana came up to Vaishnavism and Sufism to create Sahajiya Bauls of Bengal. His Teachings are pointing out to Voidness and Tantrayoga.”
- 01:38:48 Closing: A song from Khyapababa
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A clip from this interview:
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Kulavadhuta Satpurananda (Khyapababa) was initiated into the secret oral tradition of the great Indian lineage of Buddhist tantra at the age of five. He then spent decades practicing under great Indian gurus and mystics. Kulavadhuta is an artist, teacher and research guide in Buddhism, Tantra, Sufism, and the Indigenous practices of Mystics of India and Tibet. And at the heart is an Avadhuta, one who has transcended worldly concerns and even the dharma.
Rough transcript, please excuse all errors
[00:00:00] My name is Olivia Clementine, and this is Love and Liberation. Today’s guest is Kulavadhuta Satpurananda, also known as Khapababa. Khapababa was initiated into the secret oral tradition of the great Indian lineage, a Buddhist tantra at the age of five. He then spent decades in deep practice and study receiving empowerments initiations and accomplishing practice under great Indian gurus and mystics.
Khapababa is an artist, teacher and research guide in Buddhism, Tantra, Sufism, and the Indigenous practices of Mystics of India and Tibet. And at the heart is an [00:01:00] Avadhuta, One who has transcended worldly concerns.
Can we go back to the very beginning what were the causes and conditions that even brought you so deeply into the dharma at five and, and to this Indian tantric lineage .
Khyapababa: First of all, my family belongs to the bloodline of -, the two female Siddhas or said to be Vajrayogini twins sisters from Bangladesh. And in the same family Atisha Dipankar was born also. So my bloodline is purely the bloodline of the siddacharyas. Our kula guru, our family guru, is worshipped in the top as -.
So this was in [00:02:00] the blood. All my grandparents were Tantric practitioners, but by the time I was born in the family, they didn’t anymore recognize themselves as Buddhists. They recognized themselves as Shaktas mainly. So the worship of the mother goddess was very prominent in the house and practices of that.
But since my birth so far, I remember the earliest I remember I used to
see a female form with three eyes taking care of me and talking to me when others are not. And I knew her to be my real mother. Much [00:03:00] later. I understood that she’s a goddess and she’s the mother goddess. So I was also very shocked in that way. My deity was Tara Durga, whichever name you give, but the mother goddess in that way.
I followed the spiritual materiality by birth. From the family as well as from my own sentiment belief and emotion without a choice. She appeared to me. I didn’t know who she’s, but I believe she’s my mother and she is to
give me unbelievable, fantastic experiences of leaving The body used to take me to Tibet, to Kailash. This can all be [00:04:00] a child’s dream, but I have met master later was recognized me from that time.
So, in childhood days I was engaged myself in drawing three eyes of the goddess. Slowly and slowly I developed making statues of the goddess. By the age of four or five, I was making image of the goddess and worshiping. My father was
Personally atheist, and my mother was communist and she was also both quite highly educated. My mother was a school teacher, uh, teacher of Bengali literature, and my father was an advocate of Kolkata high court. [00:05:00] I ha have a sister prior to me who also was atheistic in the growing up by my parents, but I always was the revolutionary because all my faith or belief, fantasy absorption was with this other world.
I will say today, other world, that time I knew that could be the world. So my grandparents went to a pilgrimage of Bengal tantric place called,
and there was a hot spring. I was taking bath. I was five years old taking bath with my parents in the hot spring. Suddenly something pulled me [00:06:00] from behind the boundary of that.
Bathing place and I just ran there and met My first guru was sitting on a high skull seat seat made up of many skulls under the tree, and he then and there, his consort a Ma came and, and put me in his lap. He gave me a bath with a
big pitcher of country liquor, alcohol, and asked me to concentrate on the burning of the alcohol in my nose, eyes, ears, and all over the body. That sensation. When I concentrated, he rub my spine. [00:07:00] I was sitting in his lap only and then he tapped the four lobes of my brain and flipped his fingers over my frontal touching my frontal.
And I observed myself as a small blue gem of light. And I left the body. I traveled. Through galaxies and planets and whatnot. And more and more I started becoming speedy. And finally more, I speeded more. I became smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller, and the time came when I don’t know anything anymore, like it was just dark space that I got [00:08:00] absorbed in.
This is my first experience of the self dissolving in the void.
I came back sometime later, maybe an hour has passed or near about an hour, and my guru made me promise that I will make a bridge between
Indian tantra and Tibetan tantra because this, this original and, and most pure form of tantra that time, I didn’t understand anything of this. He didn’t gimme any diety, any mantra or anything but that experience. And then he said, remember this experience? Remembering this experience, and again and again going to the void, my parents[00:09:00]
thought that I’m an epileptic patient and treated me for some time, which damaged my health very badly. They also thought I’m having hallucinations because I was talking to MA all the time, or telling them that Ma has said this, I believe that they can also see her. But I didn’t know that I belonged to a parallel world, not to this material world that I didn’t know or recognize.
So this went on until, and unless I got very sick with these medications, mostly drugs, you know, and
the reaction of the medicines took me to a state that I was declared dead for 12 hours [00:10:00] in this death experience. It is the same experience, no different. And then after 12 hours, I came back from, then my parents stopped being hostile to me or hostile to my ways of rites and rituals that used to be not taught by anything that revealed through me and my being with my mother.
That was not true to them.
From the age of seven, I started understanding that my mother, whom I’m calling my mother, is actually not my biological mother previously as to think that these are my foster [00:11:00] parents and my mother is the one who comes secretly. But why? I dunno, but it’s like people talking so much and people trying to tell me I’m hallucinating or things.
And it came to a point that my mother is the goddess that I imagine Hal in it, but it was true to me.
So I got into a huge conflict in my emotions and next I saw Ma talking to me. I told her that, are you. A goddess, or you are the goddess. What? What is a goddess? I don’t know. I know you to be my mother. So Ma said that because you have now known me to be a goddess, there was a lot of talking and I will not [00:12:00] come to you anymore.
Now I look back and feel the innocence of a child. Knowing the goddess to be the mother was very easy to be with. But the innocence was disturbed by the knowledge of the goddess. Even the knowledge of the goddess was not good for me. So you can understand I felt like an orphan and it was deadly in my emotions.
So anywhere in Bengal, there’s a lot of goddesses, worship. I still now run to the pujas that my parents will pull me back. But still I will go. I will get beaten still, I will go. And then wherever I went, if I looked at the image again, I could see my mother, I could talk to her. So now the communication [00:13:00] was a bit ritualistic rather than that natural, simple communication before.
So this was carrying on when Ma started appearing to me as an old lady widow lady, because in Bengal, the widows were white dress. She was all in white with a very big one, dreadlock. And she started teaching me the tantra so I learned Kundalini. I learned Chandali, I learned Onu Maha Ati yoga experiences. She’s coming to me in visions or dreams and teaching.
So that time I didn’t know the yoga, but I could completely know the nervous system of the body reaching to the head. I used to [00:14:00] believe in this visions. So when I was studying in class seven or eight, maybe 13, 13 plus age, I was called to the Kali Temple of Kolkata by Ma. She appeared to me and said, come immediate, they went there I was.
Very young, but still I was going to have a class, so I didn’t, in the place of going to the tuition class I went to Kali. and the temple was closed from outside. But the priest helped me to go, go in because they knew as to time to time come and sit in the temple sing of ma or cry to ma and various sorts of experience is happening in me and they used observe [00:15:00] that.
So the priest said that there’s something going on inside that we are not allowed to enter, but I believe your ma has called you So you go inside. When I went inside it was a huge Ganachakra puja going on and Baba Ramnath Aghori was presiding it. And many dakas and dakinis or in Indian – are sitting in a ring, three rings inside the master and Master’s consort
lady was sitting, I didn’t know them. I was carrying some flower garlands for the temple, for the deity, but
I placed those four garlands around the guru. Maybe this made the guru and the deity the same in my heart and why I [00:16:00] worshiped him and his consort. I don’t know, it’s just on the moment. And then he placed me in the extension of his tiger skin seat. He was sitting and he declared that he was waiting for me.
He did the same thing. He bathed me in country alcohol, full pitcher, big pitcher where I am drained, totally Abisheka we call it. And then he made me sit in the consorts lap, facing her, holding like a monkey kid, holding the mother. And he just tapped from the down of my spine till my head with this toes, main toes.
And each vertebra he touched. He spoke mantra and asked me [00:17:00] to see that world. So from each vertabra a new, new World system opened up to me and ultimately he did the same thing, touched my four lobes, and I went to various experiences and then I shoot it out. It’s the same thing, but the total process was broken into 33
horizon tell parts and he said, these are the 33 realms. that time, I didn’t study books or anything. Much later when I started researching on tantra in my twenties, I found that this 33 realms
are the 33 realms of gods and goddesses, which is metaphor of the 33 [00:18:00] vertebras of the spine and the full lobes of the brain, which each point is a – or a psychic opening up a wisdom world. That time it seemed like a fantasy, a fairytales that didn’t come back like that. Later, more it. More. More. I could see that each of these realms are a different psychic mood,
a emotional mood that creates a world of thought and observation. Finally reaching the void. So when Baba Ramnath Aghori gave me this practice, he called me the little emperor of the Tantra world. Why? I dunno. Much later I learned that this initiation is the [00:19:00] fourth major empowerment and initiation in the tantric tradition and is known as – or the initiation of the Emperors mind
So in this 33 realm at 36, 36
layers of experience, but in some realms, it’s two thought worlds or two wisdom points in the same state.
like you have to know about these things to Talk about, like -, the realizer and the nature as it is are parallel and is in the sixth vertebra. There are two thoughts to different thoughts. One is the nature and another is the realizer. [00:20:00] But they’re together, they’re inseparable. And then another two vertebras are, it is -, which means
inevitable change of space or inevitable laws of nature and time. These two factors are also inseparable.
This inseparability is later realized as kalachakra tantra. So this time and space that the space is changing according to time and the time is getting created according to the change of space are interdependent and correlated. And then there was another point above called Maya Ma means nothing and ya means nature.
The nothing that tends to be the five elemental nature, how it is interdependent, the void mind and the mundane material mind. How it [00:21:00] materializes from the void. And then in the two parital lobes, they’re called Shiva and Shakti. They’re also inseparable because one lobe doesn’t work without the other and they’re interdependent to each other.
When I went through these, I also realized the interdependence of origination. That time I didn’t know Nagajunas theory, but when I studied Nagajunas theory, I was like wondered, oh my God, this is the experience that I had. That logic of dependable origination. And thus, when I studied the book, this text, I started seeing that these are all in my experience.
And uh, after that, when I was 18, by the instruction of that visionary, Goddess [00:22:00] looked looking like a widow lady, old widow lady with a beach dreadlock hard instructions. I practiced sitting on corpses and doing the cremation ground practices. Sitting on five skulls sits final was sitting on the corpses, awakening the corpse by
shooting down through my perineum, my all karmic energy into the dead body and making it alive as
– of the pure mind and winning over it, which is called
like my studying of the texts were supported by my practices. The practices were early without any thought process there. So when I came back from this sadhana, last sadhana [00:23:00] again, the mother appeared to me, and this time she was three Tara, Vajravarahi and Vajrayogini and two sides. The trinity came
means the wrathful Tara, which is rare today. She has been mentioned as the date of Padmasambhava but it is not very much seen, worshiped by the Tibetan system, though old paintings and statues have been found in Nepal. She appeared like that and
she asked me for a boon, and I didn’t want any boon because it was absolute love that I’m searching for her. I had nothing to ask her. I had nothing, no desire about anything at least. So I got very sentimental and I told her that Why she’s asking me for boon, because I [00:24:00] don’t need anything. I just love Ma
That is why I have come to this.
And then she said, you have nothing to ask. I said, yes. One thing I have to ask that the world of wisdom says that you are everything. Nothing is away from you, but there is nothing which is separated from you. Everything is you. Then how you become
a diety different from everything and appear to me, so my heart is not full. I’m feeling sad that I want to see you as everything you give me that only guru can give you that. Okay? When you go back home, you will get the connection. When I came back, I was 18 years old. That time I was studying in class 11.[00:25:00]
I came from the cremation ground. I was sad. I was hurt in myself with this controversy of ma as a woman and Ma as the entire universe, and I didn’t know what’s going on. It was very, very deadly pain that someone I am stuck and I’m not happy with Ma also, or I’m not happy with that individual form at this time.
I attempted suicide three times. Only
my mother, my mortal mother, my biological mother, told me that even Yama (lord of Death) doesn’t like you
give up faith, come [00:26:00] to the mainstream. I said no. So ultimately in six months of that huge psychological turmoil that I don’t wanna live anymore because I was running after my found ma, but I have not been totally content because I want to see her as everything.
So this time I met my Vedanta guru who was secretly a tantric also, that he didn’t disclose to anybody. So I fell in love with him when he really made. Me realize that the void that I merged in is the ultimate form of ma. So in ma is there, I’m not there. I merged in her. So he took me to an experience of an embryo in the womb of the [00:27:00] mother.
He explained in that way, it is now the explanation of my experience started coming from this school. So 14 years I was with him, he basically made me what I am. But sadly enough at the end when he declared me to be an absolute realizer Avadhuta uh, I was again not happy because his truth is the self and my truth is not the self.
So all this went and I had a fight with my Vedanta guru. He already has provoked me to come to Sikkim and study Buddhism. And I was doing from 1981. And in 1984, I took sannyas in between, I got the yogic [00:28:00] practice of renunciation from Ma Annandamoyee. So it was also very astounding.
She, last time came to Calcutta ashram and I met her, and then, and there she gave me a practice which showed that from the, from under the feet to the tip of the head frontal, the body sectioned into 108 sections of pulsations and how one pulsation can be
merged into the upper constitutive pulsation. And ultimately the entire body sensation will merge into the tip of the head pulsation. she said, this is renunciation because you are renunciation stating all the pulsations [00:29:00] that create your differences. Because the term renunciation means – means arrangement and means absolute how to arrange the pulsation of the body.
So I asked her for Renunciation grounded in material world that I leave my family and join her. She said, no, you are the only son of your parents. You have a sister, but you are the only male child. And according to Lord Budha, she said that, that the only child, only male child cannot be given without renunciation.
Then I cried. She consoled me and said that it’ll happen to you. Your parents will kick you out. if you go on practicing [00:30:00] when the practice is matured, it’ll happen to you. So Ma Annandamoyee. , my left, her body in 82. And I renounced my family in 84. I was virtually kicked out because I completed my English major in my graduation bachelor’s.
And then I was pushed to study law by my father because he wanted to make me an advocate. And no, in my final days of the law as to attend. My father in the court, and I found that this complex world of manipulation, lying logic is not for me and I cannot anymore proceed in this part. My conscience does not allow so, [00:31:00] so long.
I was afraid to leave the house because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. It was a royal family, lot of well and wealthy support. I didn’t know whether I will be able to live alone under the sky, but the pain became so huge that I left the law college in my final exams. So my father got the news and he just outta fury, he said, get out of my house.
So I just walked out of the house and lived some one and a half months under the sky, dwelling in cremation grounds. Then time to time as to in my mother’s request, I was very attached to my mother I used to stay with one of our sisters who was an widow in [00:32:00] the responsibility of looking after her. That my mother wanted.
I have at least a roof above my hand. But there also I could not stay because I could not anymore. Once I left agree with anything of the material,
that boldness was there. The spirit was ready to give up anything for the journey and no compromise. So this time period, some three months passed, almost unfed because I also took a vow to myself that if there is any significance of my life that I’ve renounced everything. The existence will look after me and I don’t have to look after it and take the tension.
So if I survive, I will know that I have some work. [00:33:00] If not, I don’t care in the cremation ground. When I went first night, I laid down on a funeral, pyre and told Ma, Tara, ma, I’ve come to your best place, the cremation ground, and I am ready to be a dead body under your feet, but I will not take care of me anymore.
If you take care of me, then I survive. Otherwise, I don’t want to survive. So I gave up asking for food or wanting food, but in a week, once or twice, somebody will come and feed me why they’re coming from. I never asked why they’re feeding me. I never asked. I remained constantly in meditation of [00:34:00] Ma and thought of, Ma there are more asethics that time in Calcutta, in the cremation grounds.
Along the Ganges, there were many asetics used to stay.
This went on when my guru came back from the secret retreat and told me that my mentality will not accommodate with living like this. He said to take a job of a school teacher. So I went to the school, I studied,
I was a appreciated student, and asked for a job. I got a job, but in three months. I started recognizing that all this ideology that our teachers have told me, taught us. Now I am a colleague. They don’t abide by that. Everybody, some do, some do not. [00:35:00] And the total system is another politics.
So that was another deserted bed. of disillusion bed. So ultimately I left that also and I was very good with my hands. As I told you, I used to make statues of MA and painting of ma, and I was trained in my school by very famous artists. So
I took to the profession of art. I used to design the pavilions of the carnivals. And slowly, within three, four years, I was picked up by an international designer office. They hired me as a designer for national integration fairs of India with the research project. So I joined it and finally I worked in behalf of them.
As one of the [00:36:00] consultant designers for central government of India. so with this, my profession, I was happy doing the work. I got recognized by this
house of designers that they can rely upon me totally about in logical designs like iconography, designing museums. . So designing these museums, I started getting deep into research. Iconography became my methodology of the research. Rather than books, though I was studying books and I found that it came to me that books can be rewritten and edited and changed over time.
We are never getting the oldest manuscripts anyhow, but once a statue is made, it cannot be recarved. That is a stable mark of history. [00:37:00] One can read a statue, can read the practice philosophy behind it, because of my. Own personal practices. It was very easy. Slowly, government of India archeological department started hiring me
to decipher archeological objects, iconography. And by this time in 92, I went through a perpetual 16 days of continued trance. That was the maximum time I sat in a trance in the void. And when I came back from there, my guru declared meat, named me as an Avadhuta, gave me the robe of the sky clad, and
gave me the vows of all virtues and transcending everything, human virtues, and asked me to [00:38:00] find my own way. He said, two lion cannot stay in one jungle you have to go. He said, I know that you will destroy my school of Vedanta.
I loved Vedanta, but what I realize in Vedanta is what Buddha called Brahmavihara
which in Tibetan is called a Tonglen practice because you realize the expansion of the self, but the self remains as a never ending space is the sense of being, which Vedanta calls or the never ending expanse. And that is, of course, inseparable from the self. The feeling is I’m expanding. I have no body. I am just light and never ending expansion.
But by the grace of the first [00:39:00] gurus, all these ended up in, I’m merging into the void that remained sustained. So I told my guru that I am brahman this truth. I accept, but I’ve transcended this truth. I’ve seen something beyond, and that something is basically nothing because I’m not there. How can I say? So he put me into a three days long debate.
In the debate he put spiritual juries. Finally, they found that I have owned the debate. I didn’t want to win the debate because the debate was between me and my guru, and I loved it the most, but somehow I stuck to my truth of experience. [00:40:00] So I said that in Buddhism, the four practices of compassion, uh, compassionate practices are given to Brahmavihara. because when a person finds him or hard it can be so magnanimous as being, there’s a high ego in every step.
Probability, the probability of ego, every step. Because when we come back to our ordinary self, that ordinary self claims that, so because of this deviation, these compassionate practices are must so it is a bodhisattva state. It has also its end.
So after all these, my guru recognized that I have transcended dharma. I been into nothing. So he just told me [00:41:00] now to leave and my own. And become, he said, become your own origin. I was very sad. The divorce with the guru was not at all good. I got very angry with him also.
When I came and went deep into studying Budhist Tantra, um, Sikkim Gangtok research, Institute of Tibetology, talking with the scholars, Lamas, meeting yogis and yoginis, actually there is no Buddhist guru of mine who were mine, who initiated me to, I was self initiated, means I have completed my yogi practice, tantric practice and found that the Buddhist teaching is akin to my -.
But I was recognized by many eminent masters and yoginis. I will not call their names because there are no [00:42:00] more in this world. Their followers will think I am using their name.
So I started understanding that what I have
experienced are being recognized as perfection. I used to go to this masters, find out where is a real ngakpa That time in Sikkim, there were many ngakpas. Now Sikkimese people do not even recognize the ngakpa robe because they don’t know the tradition has gone. Nobody wants to do this long term meditations dedicating their entire life.
People want to be famous. So now ngakpa robe is more of a fashion. I was put into ngakpa robe by the main Abbott of Sikkim [00:43:00] by saying that people do not recognize you Baba. He used to secretly come to me for yogic practice and teaching. He was much older to me though, that you should dress up in the way you are. So this society do not misunderstand you as an ordinary monk.
The common Buddhist will think I’m breaking laws,
so he put me with this ngakpa robe and
. For some years I painted thangkas also for my survival. Then I was pulled by scholars of India.
National and international seminars on Tantrism,
and I, when I went into this world of scholars, I found, my God, they’re all talking nonsense. Forgive me. Why [00:44:00] nonsense? Because they do not make any sense that speculating from the lines, they have no experience. Maybe somebody’s initiated in a mantra, in a basic breathing technique or tummo, that’s all.
Nothing more. And all talks. Talks and talks. So because of my experiential roots, I started debating with them Then I was, I has been also accepted by the Hindu Society as a guru. I have got a number of guru facilitations from traditional sanskritized authorities of South India. Once I ask that, I always talk against [00:45:00] the Vedic dictums.
Mostly it is not that I don’t appreciate the way where they will be appreciated, but. That’s not my cup of tea. And I studied it for years, 14 years. And so I knew it better. Why do you call me as a guru to your temples and take teachings from me when you get hurt? What I say, because all these fights started coming up, intellectual fights when I found that how much the vedic school has controlled the school of tantra in today’s so-called Hindu system, like pure Shaivism, pure Shaktism, pure VIshnaism, they are not Vedic, the Kapalikas are not Vedic, are not Vedics, are not [00:46:00] Vedics, are not Vedic.
They’re always in that teachings and Dohas transcended the Vedas then why again the Vedas, you understand? And moreover, I am a Tantric Matriarch. To me the ultimate truth if can be imagined in any human form, it has to be the divine feminine because mother is my source and Vedas have always disrespected woman. I could not agree.
And many places I did revolution and changed their vegetarian version of Tantra into my non-vegetarian version. But what I found in the Hindu world, people are absolutely absorbed in a mysticism of mantra and power [00:47:00] craft. Either they speak high philosophy and they practice absolute mundane rituals. There is no in between.
The tantras and sutras are divorced. They do not tally what they speak a philosophy and what the practice of Tantra do not tally, because I believe that if you practice Tantra, you have to respect femininity as the epitome of humanism. That is how my gurus have taught and my love for mother, ultimate mother.
For Tara, is that what I’ve been taught by Tara and also my final, I didn’t get time to tell you that the lady whom I used to see in my dream teaching me Tantra. After I met my guru, I met [00:48:00] her. She was even the guru of my Vedanta guru, and she also recognized me means as if she knows me for a long time. And I said, did you come and teach me everything?
And she just embraced me, hugged me with tears and saying, you met too late to come to me. This mother gave me the final empowerment of Ati yoga. That is the pulsation of the head going beyond the head, how to reach the point of void.
Olivia: You’re now speaking of the Vedas and Tantra and you’ve just done so many, you haven’t quite named it necessarily ’cause you’re telling your own experience.
But yeah, you’ve, you’ve practiced in the Christian Gnostic tradition, the Mustang Wrathful order of Sufism, the leftist tantra, ,
So there was no you seeking these paths, [00:49:00] they came to you and then now that you have this clarity for yourself, the experience plus the, uh, maybe self-reflection on Tantra and the truth of what’s actually your path, what is your view of all of these, lineages that you’ve of also been given?
Khyapababa: Is it the same? It’s like what, you know, if you know Indian classical music, you will know one Raga can be sung into. Some 10 different styles in the same way I found the truth of spirituality has been practiced in different styles in the esoteric part of different religions.
Like a musician will not
stop, a true musician will not stop with his cool and style and try many more because of the – of learning that. [00:50:00] So where these masters came and taught me, I have all ended up in the void. The Holy Spirit of the gnostic part is the void, and it can be only approached through the persona of Mother Mary.
Mary Magdalene is the priest, again a Matriarchical priest
in the path of
Sufi’s Mustang. We see a Allah as a beloved woman. The songs about it. But what my Sufi teacher taught me was only one night. It was how to absorb and burn out scenes of people who [00:51:00] have unknowingly entered sinful path and died. It is a kind of spiritual exorcism on souls or giving liberation to souls.
They’re all in Tantra, not different. Only the difference are in the styles of fantasizing them or visualizing them. But the real practice everywhere is the internal yoga of the body to mind and there is no imagination or visualizations.
Olivia: So when you were doing focusing more on spontaneous realization, what were you doing during that time?
Khyapababa: All this was still, I became an Avadhuta till 91. I met most of my gurus though. I [00:52:00] met Chatral Rinpoche much later in 2005 or six and another
Guru. I have met also in the Baul tradition later, like around 2000 others were all before, and these two gurus never initiated me into anything, but they always dictated me advices because I was young. How to move, how to deal with people, how to teach. Very secretly, very metaphorically. They have ordered me instruction.
I see all the gurus to be the same spirit of guru of the mind. I [00:53:00] see all visualizations of gods and goddesses be my same mothers to me, Tara and Mother Mary are not two different
to me, yidam Fatimah and Ma Tara are not two different things. Various expressions of the same voidness, I will say. So after becoming an Avadhuta and settling down for good in the hills. My income came from scholasicism already. My researchers were taken into Biblio -, and I got approached by many institutions to teach abroad.
I didn’t go abroad because I didn’t want to lose my life with my [00:54:00] virtues. I wanted to remain within my chosen place in the Himalayas, but I worked with one American University Long Island University in their extended programs of research, graduation and research, post-graduation and PhD as the field advisor or research guide for some 15 years sitting in my own place, they used to send students.
I always said without field study teaching this subject is difficult because it becomes only theory, no experience. Not that the students will practice the path, but they need to meet many realizes or go to archeological places.[00:55:00]
Historical monuments. That’s my life.
Olivia: thank you. Obviously it’s just a bit of it, but going backwards, so it, it sounds like you spent a lot of time in graveyards doing like the pyre meditation and, and funeral meditation. can you talk more about those practices, like what you’re actually doing , spending all those years in the charnal ground?
Khyapababa: See, this practices are very secret. We are asked by our gurus not to discuss them openly because they can bring
people into interest and get into trouble. In third clinician ground practices, the essence is two. One is what Lord Budha said of Shanika, that when a higher receptor should leave minimum [00:56:00] three months in a cremation ground, why seeing the futility of the body that he cares so much. This is a very poignant.
Practice of seeing human bodies burning, decaying. That creates a huge subconscious understanding of the futility of the form. When the futility of form starts, it goes to the other skandas or the other elements, the futility of emotions, the futility of thoughts, the futility of judgments, the futility of the self.
There are other practices.
Those are more magical. That is why they should not be spoken. But I will say the essence of it, [00:57:00] depth is the ultimate truth of human, mundane life. A child will be born or not, we cannot assure, but one who is born will die. It is assure, but the truth of life is death .
This is what St. Francis says, that my life is Christ and death is meeting him.
It’s not only a devotional word, it is a very deep thing.
So entire practice of the Siddha school is to experience death in life. There are five deaths. First is the death of the body, which is the death of sexuality practiced through amaroli, vajroli and sahajoli mudras, and according to the samskara quality of the practitioner, how if [00:58:00] you stop the cause of birth in you that sexuality is the cause of birth, you can stop it.
Then the Siddhas call them, the living death of the zombie, the term or accomplishment of a zombie, that it is better for the real thing is transcending sex. So that is the physical death in metaphor, the emotional death is when your deepest devotion end up. In my case, it’s Tara. Tara lives in cremation ground.
I’m living in cremation ground, and cremation ground is supporting my devotion till death. So that is the depth of the emotion, So this is also like cremation ground or – [00:59:00] places, but you will get that sense of voidness and nothingness very prominent if you sit and meditate is the esoteric value then there is
to help people. Compassion exorcism, like there are many spirits who are not liberated. They’re suffering how to liberate. By knowing that you’ll know how to exercise a demon or a evil spirit from a person, how to even be compassionate to evil spirits and demands and gain them with your love and compassion and they become servants of the practitioner.
I’ve done many of them.
Also, I’ll say from my view of an artist, you know, sometimes I. The most beautiful [01:00:00] thing in human eyes is nature.
Entire aesthetics is de derived from nature and the ultimate jurisdiction of nature on own living beings is death. So there is terrible, terrific beauty of the cremation ground.,
I dunno how to give words to it, but the fearful form of Mahakal or Kali, or Wrathful Tara or Troma Ngakmo
there is such a beauty that attracted me, that wrath fullness. So the wrathful practices are very much connected to death because every wrathful practice you are taking, you are killing a part of your samskara or your characterization. Like the practice of Candali. [01:01:00] Why is called candali. Candali means a funeral worker lady because in the chakras, our horizonal layer seven layers of mind are in seven chakras.
So when you are uprising the candali, they, it incurs the heat that every chakra, holding the toxins that the record of the karmas will get burned. And that happens best in cremation ground. And in my experience, when a funeral pyre is burning, you are looking at it. If you can correlate that fire inside you, then the inner power fire gets very high and you start seeing that the dead body, which is burning in the funeral pyre, is very much, it’s like a psychological death, not [01:02:00] negative.
Very positive.
Yeah.
Then there is this
cremation ground practices we call in Indian system or sacrificing yourself. generally most ngakpas start with that, but they do the beating of the damaru, the bell, and chanting. But the way I have learned it is a breathing process by which you go through the seven layers of your being. Like first You offer your scheme, then you offer your blood, then you offer your flesh, then you offer your.
Bones, then you offer your bone marrows, then you offer the brain. Ultimately you offer the brain fluid, which is making your reproductive cells. All these stages are not only
imaginary chanting that to the [01:03:00] technique of breathing. you are eliminating each of these layers that only can be experienced with the instructions and empowerments of the Guru. This cannot be explained or said.
Olivia: Because you’ve had so much practice experience, have there been obstacles for you, like for you particularly in this life, um, for your practice, many practice, — Many,
Khyapababa: many.
Olivia: Will you speak about any that you have worked through?
Khyapababa: I have told you fast. It’s the obstacle came from my parents. Yeah. That’s the start is the fight
health hazards followed with the wrong medicines. I got my health back when I took renunciation and led my own discipline in life. Own food system. Then friends, those who are childhood friends, how [01:04:00] much they start misunderstanding. You are afraid of you if you disclose your practices, losing them, the emotional obstacles, pain, nobody’s yours.
You have to leave behind everybody you loved.
Then
mental obstacles, like today, this philosophy is attracting you more next day. Another philosophy with attracting you more. You are moving in a plaza of thoughts that nowadays most of the people do. They do dharma Shopping moves from one guru to another. There’s nothing wrong in it. To move from one guru to another, you can take thousands of gurus, but then what is your focus gets lost.
Many mantras, many deities, many rituals are also obstacles. In some point when you are purifying the mind because you need -. Or the clarity [01:05:00] of mind, which holds no perception, no thought. Then all the philosophies are your obstacle. All that you have studied, read, followed are your obstacle. Then comes to the point of final judgments.
But what is the truth? As I told you that my guru is creating obstacle against me. Agree with him and disagree with my own experience. Though it was a trick, but still it was very painful. It was high obstacle. He’s taking me to the corner to push me in that intensity. I got that world as I could have failed.
So thus, philosophical, pretext, or intellectually charged, logically charged truth is your obstacle. [01:06:00] to transcend, it’s dangerous, it’s painful. This when I have to leave my guru , he knows that I have to leave him. It shatters the life like I have nobody above me, nobody to fall up on anymore. I’m alone in this way.
Then a new set of obstacles comes as devotees, asking for all mundane Help
get my child married, get my tenant, move out, get my disease, be cured.
You are actually working against the law of karma at this time. Those who get fastened there, they get lost every time a person came for a help. I used to ask Ma, but can I help [01:07:00] him or can I help her? Ma will tell me that what he’s suffering is his karmas. I will not help. Okay? That person will get angry with me.
If a politician trouble. I have gone through this trip. Politicians come mean to me. To get them selected, get them elected, get them powered. No. Had to even go from one place to another, not to be near political control.
Then influential people of the society comes to you for very selfish. If they’re within my boundaries of virtues, I’ll help not I own. So you make enemies with very influential people.[01:08:00]
Then you run away or you remain stable and carry on, fight till they calm down. All of this time I took everything as challenges of a sport or a game,
taking to the faith that ma will save me I am Ma’s child, Ma will save me. Even when I got settled down in the realization of voidness, somebody asked me that, you are now, you are transcended visualization, everything. What is your devotion to now? I said, if I fall back into my emotion, it’s ma nothing else. It’s all, everything is to me, ma, nothing else I cannot do without a God In the [01:09:00] mundane.
I can do without myself in trance, in samadhi, but I am not there. I don’t have a God. I don’t have a principle, I don’t have a dharma. I’ve transcended everything. So when I see from that point of wisdom, I’m creating my own pure fantasy. Why not? I’m an artist. I’m allowed to decorate my own house. I’m not disturbing anybody.
Similarly, I’m decorating my own mind. And that decoration is not made by me. It’s revealed to me as Ma, they see my voidness is ma and Ma is my voidness. So when she is Ma, she is everything of the mundane. Everything is in her hand. My suffering is in her hand. My [01:10:00] place is in her hand. It’s all her grace.
She is playing with me. And when I go into the wisdom, I’m one with her. I’ve lost myself. How can I point out her as a different being than me or what is even me?
So if you think obstacle, everything is obstacle.
If you take it as a game, everything is in the game of life. But yes, now I am aging. I’m 64. Now. I’m finding old age is an obstacle. Health is an obstacle, but that don’t create much difficulty in my mind. And the last but not the least, at the age of 60, I got married.
I found my real spiritual partners not fraught [01:11:00] any physical contentment, but she was my disciple for long years. Then one day found her to be as my mirror of wisdom. She’s my Ma, has come in this form and through her eyes, I’m learning myself newly. So that is the time
I started understanding that the way she observes me, well, I was convinced she didn’t say it by her own words. Our parents, her friends, my other disciples all wanted me to marry. Then one day asked that we’re guru and disciple why we have to marry, like why marriage is a recognition of a guru and disciple when not such relationship is in between.
So all of them told me, including my own children, my spiritual [01:12:00] children, that you don’t see how much she loves you. I consulted a high psychotherapist friend of mine,
she is still my advisor and she practices very deep meditations that I help her. She is another one who by her own being, has reached very high levels of meditation in the process of much older to me, mother of my a disciple, just the other day I was talking to her in, so she told me one day that, do you know you call yourself matriarch, but do you know you are a matriarch in the mundane?
I said, what do you mean? Said you are not seeing the lady beside you who is your absolute spiritual partner? I said, no, she’s my disciple. I don’t see her as my partner. Soon you’ll learn to see [01:13:00] our words have become true. I’ve learned to see myself from her view, and she’s also a very high practitioner. That enchanted.
So I wanted to know from the view of a woman what type of a guru or a Siddha, or a hopeless being I am.
It’s too late, but is never know. So in this old age, she is beside me to teach me the ordinariness of being
that, even you lose the self in your experience of deepest meditation and transcendence till you come back. When you come back, all your actions and thoughts create a ego, or at least an identity, [01:14:00] how you can transcend this identity, which is called Vajrasattva, or the indestructible identity. Still this identity is a fake identity.
It’s not real because I don’t exist that I know very well. But how I’m seeing another person is also going there and how she’s living with me has given me the rest of mind. What I don’t have to fight between my appearing identity and non identity, there’s no conflict between the two. It’s her grace. So she is also two my view, she’s my mother in this form of a wife.
This was incomplete in me, so she completed with me. [01:15:00] Mm-hmm.
Olivia: Well, congratulations. on, on your recent marriage, and it sounds from what you’re sharing that you’re in a tantric relationship.
So what would you consider first, a true tantric practitioner? What does that mean? And then what does it mean to be in a true tantric partnership?
Khyapababa: The true tantric practitioner finds out the cosmic structure in body mind. The term tantra in Sanskrit means mechanism. What is the cosmic mechanism accumulated in the epitome of a human body life.
Ultimately, everything is valued by life. When I was not born, all these troubles, good, bad, ugly, spiritual mundane, nothing was after my death. They will be there. Not not. I will not come to talk to you. Or if I come to talk to you, they get scared.[01:16:00]
So is the structure of life that has been produced by the cosmic evolution to mother Earth evolution to life, evolution to human evolution to evolution of human psych. This is how I have realized and see my view came from my experience and tantric partnership is very essential. Why? ’cause a man.
Is more bend towards the analytical understanding of spirituality but as a woman is more bend to the emotional experience of spirituality . A man misses the emotional, experiential version. Though my entire life started with [01:17:00] experience, that may be the reason I recognize a woman’s superiority over any masculinity from the view of tantra
Ma is absolute like we call the voidness as the mother conscious the entire universe is born in a womb. And this magic of mechanism that from nothing to everything is the character of a woman.
True tantric, understanding. I have found that when men get attracted towards women, if wrongly and falsely recognize it as sexual attraction. It is basically the attraction towards voidness that the woman is holding and the man is missing[01:18:00]
and the woman suffers, it, that voidness and wants to fulfill it through the understanding of a man because she relies on the analytical approach of man. So tantric relationship is the relationship between the two lobes, the male lobe and the female lobe, and the intercourse in between is the voidness. So that is the ultimate reality of a tantric man woman relationship.
in Indian pretext as the tantric text says. There are five way in the five elements[01:19:00]
means the relationship between the king and the subject, very distant, ruler and ruled. This is in the physical level between the guru and the disciple. Between two yogi and yogini. One will supersede the other, woman can be a guru or a man, or both are under the same guru.
And if you ask me, I will say a mother guru is more perfect than a father.
Why? There can be many logics, but in my life also, see, since my wife, since my disciple has become my wife, and she’s the mother of my children, she deals with them [01:20:00] in teaching and practice much more simply with her affection and less words than me. I’ve seen that with my mother guru, unbelievable. I think because mother is the first guru of life who has created you.
In tantra, Father is called the great guru, but mother is called the greatest guru.
Then the second state, the emotional state, the guru and the disciple, or the lover and the beloved are master, and the servant in both genders can be the master of that. In the third state of mind, they become two friends, but they share a lot of things equally. Like you [01:21:00] know, a guru also needs a disciple to express himself or herself.
Disciples become the meter of wisdom for them I’ve seen this between me and my guru. I’ve seen this between me and my disciples. In the state of pure intellect, the beloved is the father or mother, and the lover is the child, or the lover is the father and the mother, the beloved is the child. Mm-hmm. Like adoration of the newborn Christ. In Christmas, what’s the emotion that my Lord is my child?
I care him. But those feelings come. And then finally the fifth element, or the identity or ego or the self. It’s the lover and the beloved of the husband and the wife. [01:22:00] That happens. It happened between me and my Vedanta guru in his devotion and love. I started becoming a woman. Mentally. That started reflecting on me physically.
Then one day I was stopped, means my entire body was changing. I was young, I was so dedicated to my guru, and I called him as my beloved. I didn’t try to do it. It happened that time. I was very much into Vaishnavism. Also, I was hearing these Radhakrishna songs days after day. So they reflected in me. So I became, in my own mind, my gurus lover, this happens.
This things happen because the [01:23:00] ultimate state of being, even the self is not there yet. It’s the being. It has no gender, there’s no sense of gender. So all these beautiful jewels of the five elemental relationship, yeah.
Olivia: you are a baul musician and, I, I’ve heard some of your offerings or, or songs and, uh, I, I just love them so much and I am curious how this came to you.
Like how did you begin to, let these these songs come to you?
My,
Khyapababa: my rhythm to guru was a kind of baul in the sense he was not a traditional Baul, but he used to go into trances and when he will come back, uh, a revealed song will come up from his lips, used to – it or write it down. [01:24:00] There are thousands of songs.
Maybe that was the impulse that, I dunno. But from my childhood days. worshipping the mother I used to sing reveal songs. It was in me. The emotions is to gush out as songs that I have not met these Guru also. After I became an Avadhuta, I lost the mortal connection with my guru. I was broken heart. First time I went to that great baul congregation of, so there is a place called, you know? -. Near – is a village where the great text Gita Govinda by Jayadeva Goswami was written and completed there. So the day of completion of the text Gita Govinda,
which is tantric
it’s Radhakrishna tantric text, [01:25:00] but it’s speaking of copulation. This is from where the Vaiṣṇava Sahajiyās have derived the Bauls come from early that tradition. And – is from 700 years old or more. So I fast went to that congregation. At that time, two three lacks a hundred thousand people will gather in their village and I got dissolve with them.
And in that congregation I sang many songs that were, were all -. They found that there is a source inside that Ma speaks from inside. And then I was given a
convocation by the bows as a lord. They called corta [01:26:00] in that – by other Baul gurus. And later I met – Baba, 120 over 120 years old. That time when I met him first. A great, great yogi Yogi who was one of the heads of the Bauls. And I met another great master of the Bauls. These people have Mahasiddhas
what I’ve seen in them, what I’ve heard from them, their yogic perfections that I’ve seen, that I always keep miracles apart, but still. They there, but yogic perfection service seemed unbelievable. – Baba used to take one breath in 40 minutes. That much he died at near about 140. He and my first, my second, a guru [01:27:00] Baba they were bossom friends.
These are like masters of masters. So he Baba also placed, gave me a very high pedestal in the Baul world and I love this world. But more time passed. I started feeling that as sexual perversion is taking over the next generations and the real masters are no more old masters died. Very few took up the real power.
Now a lot of sexual perversion is in that world nowadays. I don’t go very much, very much. It pulls me. Sometimes I go, some of my old Baul friends are there, but they’re not Siddhas. But it’s very difficult today to find a siddha in the Baul tradition. It’s very sad, very sad. [01:28:00] Everything is free sex and that is what attract the city like people too much.
The Bauls. And now you know, there is like City Bauls, all program masters, all performance, The term Baul actually came in the Dohas of the 84 Siddhas,
the term was Bayul. – means one. Whose breath has got dissolved into void one who have died in, or one who flow surfs on breathing. This days like now I have not, I cannot refer, refer one single Baul of that perfection. . last time, last year I went to see for a evening the – in that village, [01:29:00] I didn’t find one master alive in his ashram.
So generally the masters used to put the holy fire. There is no holy fire, almost in any ashram. That means there’s no guru anymore and DJ going on big pavilions, big. Chaos going, people are drunk. Doped.
So this is, you can also say an obstacle. The outer world of spirituality is becoming very small and small, even in the Tibetan Buddhist world, who there is monastic hierarchies who are claiming to be ngakpas and giving, I will say very badly selling ngakpas in the West. The Tibetan do not in their tradition, give a ngakpa initiation so easily that the gift to the Western and Sikkim being the last resort of the [01:30:00] ngakpas,
we don’t see ngakpas anymore. last week I was in a pilgrimage in Sikkim. Every year I go twice. I try to go twice to all the caves of not all I can, my health does not permit too much of Trek these days, but I go stay, meditate with my wife and my disciples. This time, like local people were asking me, which religion I belong to. They don’t know this robe.
Think what degeneration of the tradition has happened, but it’s at least they don’t wear it. Mockingly or without a real inheritance
Ngakpa robe means you are a master of tantra when Lachen Rinpoche gave me [01:31:00] this robe, I said, why? I have to tell people why I will make my body a sign board?
That he gave a very beautiful, he looked at my eyes and went smiling and said, Baba, you are yourself a signature.
Why not? In our tradition, our dress is the silent credential. I said, so many people can use this credential falsely. So why you are asking me to -? He said, whatever you have done, Baba in your life is bit virtuous. So for our group wear the dress that suits him, I accepted like my Indian guru the day I last met him, asked me not to cut my hair till I meet him.
Now my dread later dreads came up. By the late nineties, the hair was [01:32:00] growing and now they’re like 15 feet long. I have to keep it bound, always head becoming hot, always in a cap. Don’t like it. I feel like I shave it off, but it’s not good to shave up dreads, they say, because I didn’t make the dreads In meditation, uh, jelly like substance comes out of the head when you go to yoga and this brain fluid that comes up knots the head.
So we believe that it’s a grace of the guru? I don’t cut it. So it is also an adornment, a outer show. Then the earrings I wear, this is also an outer show. I didn’t wear the earrings for a long time. Then one of my disciples who attained a state of perfection said, your guru asked you to add earrings of the Natha order.[01:33:00]
You didn’t. Why? I said, because to wear the earrings is to get an oath of transmitting My realization to another one that the right ear has listened to the tantra so perfectly that I’ve got an ear cap, the left. Listen to the instructions of tantra so I have an ear chap so how can I claim that ? So she said she was a Tibetan lady older to me that if you say that I have attained this state, then you should wear –
So she put – on me. like this one by one, attributes came, but today there’s so much false appearances that sometimes I think I will not wear these things anymore. Like when I go to West, people will appreciate it, [01:34:00] appreciate my dreadlocks and say, how many dollars did you spend to make them?
So then I feel sad that my tradition is getting disrespected because it’s a fashion to them. They don’t know. It’s not their fault.
Olivia: . So one, time you wrote, when nothing is important, one can cooly apply importance to everything at the same time, can you share about engaging in life in this way?
Khyapababa: When there is nothing important, means you have reached the voidness in your being, then there is no differences. When you come back from samadhi on whatever thing you focus, the structure, internal structure of that thing starts becoming vivid to you, to your inner eyes.
So what is life left [01:35:00] for when you have understood that nothing is important to give importance to everything. I’ll give you an example. When I was 18 years old and I was in Calcutta, I never had friends of my age always seniors were my friends. So that time, the first time I am a voter, I give vote. So all the candidates of all different parties, they all know me in the locality and they all made me that, you have to vote me.
I said yes. So when I went to vote, I sealed in all the ballot signs and that signed, I gave the address. So it was in the news the some idiot had, but why the idiot signed that gave the address. So all these people came to my house. And why did you massacre your vote said, because I promised that I will [01:36:00] vote you.
Everybody of you have asked me. Everybody I have said yes to. See by giving importance to everybody, I have not given importance to anyone. In the same way that reflected in my life as giving importance to everything, nothing remains special in my, not even myself.
That is what is to leave ordinarily.
Hmm.
It’s two opposite things. The matrix is in between. One side is the mundane, another side is the spiritual. There are two sides of the same coin. It’s the same thing that is, you give equality to everything. Nothing is important.
Olivia: So, uh, since you’re a [01:37:00] poet and you’re also a musician, no pressure on this one.
Khyapababa: I’m not a very good musician, ma.
Olivia: Okay.
Khyapababa: I sing okay. But I sing with my emotions that comes out. But I am not a trained musician.
Means I don’t know the grammar of music or I theoretically know, but I, I’m not practiced as a musician. I’m not devoted so much time as I devoted in painting and sculptured and designing into music. it’s not always my two tunes and beats are perfect or right, but when that gush of emotional emotion brings out the words of inner experience, they become a song.
Olivia: that’s more interesting anyways for me personally than the essence of where the, where your music is coming from. There’s
Khyapababa: the crazy songs, we call them crazy [01:38:00] songs, so those who accept craziness, they’re like, yeah,
Olivia: well, so in this moment, is there any song or poem that you would want to share?
It doesn’t have to even be your own, but if it is, it’s welcome.
Khyapababa: There is a song of Lalan Shah Fakir from Bangladesh that haunts my mind.
Hail to the one again and again, I praise The One/ hail to The One who has made his house in voidness standing on one pillar. The one pillar is the spine, and, uh, head is the house of voidness .
The final song is sung by Khyapababa, here are the lyrics:
গুরু হলেন আলো–আঁধারি।।
নির্বাণে–সংসারেমেলা।
জ্ঞানেতে–ধ্যানেতেরতি।
গুরু হলেন আলো–আঁধারি।।
যুগল–তত্ত্বের প্রেমরসে।
দ্বৈতে অদ্বৈতে মিশে।
আলোয় রাধা আঁধারে হরি।।
মাতৃ–প্রেমের গর্ভাধারে।
পিতৃ–বোধের আলোক পাতে।
মেঘ–বিজুরী জড়াজড়ি।।
ভেসে গুরুর প্রেমের বানে।
পরাণ–রাধা মজলো মান–য়ে।
ক্ষ্যাপা অবধূতে কান্দে হে গুরু হরি।।
গুরু–পূর্ণিমা
১৯.৭.২০১৬
Guru is the game of Light and Darkness.
Meeting point of nirvana and samsara,
oneness of knowledge and meditation,
Guru is the game of Light and Darkness.
In the flow of Love in two-in one,
mingling duality with non-duality,
in Light Radha / Samantabhadri in Darkness Krishna / Samantabhadra.
In the dark womb of mother’s Love,
in the light of father’s consciousness,
the hugging of the cloud and the lightning.
Flowing in the tide of Guru’s Love,
my Radha-feelings got engrossed in sentiment,
this crazy Avadhuta sings, Oh my Guru my Lord.