PLEASURE | RELATIONAL EXPLORATION

Partner practice to welcome pleasure

My body is flooded
With the flame of Love.
My soul lives in
A furnace of bliss.
Love's fragrance
Fills my mouth,
And fans through all things
With each outbreath. 
- Kabir

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For partner practice you can choose to set up a pleasurable space that allows the environment to tell the body this is not an everyday moment. You can use scents that awaken the body into sensuality. Warm lighting that allows the body to relax rather than bright blue lighting. Oils to invite your lover and to soften into the rich holy perfume of you or them. Fresh flowers. Ofcourse you can wear delicious adornments, or not. You can role play if that excites you. Ofcourse nothing is needed either than the mind as this is what creates your visions of reality. The outer is here to encourage the inner, our truth, the holy temple of our beings. 

Most yogic relational practices are recommended to begin alone. This is a great way to recognize the power of our minds and to refine the practice techniques themselves.If you are alone for the partner practices offered below, imagine sitting with your lover. You don’t need to know how they look exactly but certainly touch into how you want to feel with them. If you need an image of someone and feeling doesn’t do it for you, look for an image of someone that you are turned on by, or use the image of a diety and allow them to hold that space.  

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BREATH MEDITATION

Key points for this practice:

Relax and Let Joy Enter.
Breath in and out of the nose

There are many benefits to this breath practice. Less distraction and refined mind power as you are choosing how to direct your attention. This will also help you reside more in the body. As your breath is held and expanded below the navel and the crown, you are opening up your chakras and allowing there to be the fire of life there. These are important areas to unbind and know, for growing in sensuality and desire. The more we can experiencing sensations in these areas, and through our central body, the more awake we are to the field of pleasure and connection.

The Breath: Inhale slowly and deeply, Imagine the breath goes from the crown of your head to 4 fingers below the navel. Before exhale, hold it there for a moment

Exhale slowly and deeply, as you imagine the breath moves back up all the way to the crown of your head, feel the breath expand in your head.

Continue this cycle. Feel both relaxed and focused, inviting DELIGHT. 

AUDIO MEDITATION:

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LOWER QI ACTIVATION MEDITATION:

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PARTNER MEDITATIONS  

Keep practicing these, as you find more naturalness in them. Soon you may find they infiltrate your everday existence. 

A reminder that there is no right when it comes to pleasure. Every body is different and it is important to not hold fast to any rules, but to feel in and explore where your body is at in different moments of time. Environment, body state, inner life and our relationships impact our sexual experience. 

If you find yourself tensing up, relax, come back to your body and breath coming out of the mind. 

Remember let connection lead before behavior. How are you feeling? How is your lover feeling? When in doubt you can always take a break, laugh or ground into your ocean of awareness. 

After you do these practices, reflect to yourself or discuss your experience. How it felt, what your found pleasurable, where you noticed you wanted more, or pulled back. Whatever arose for you. 

1. Offering with Awareness

Sit across from each other, looking into eachother’s eyes.  Imagine offering everything up (thoughts, emotions, identity, belongings) and yet remain connected to that part of you that is aware that you are offering everything up. It’s not your name, is that part that is wakeful, alert, tuned in. Giving everything up, as a gift to your lover, to all beings. When you wander … begin again. Offer it all up and stay tuned to awareness …

2. Potency of Sight

Sit across from each other, with undergarments seductive clothes, or clotheless. See and feel your partner as perfect, there is no error in site. See and feel your own body this way too.

Key: Relax your body and mind, allow bliss to enter your field and spend time looking at each other’s bodies. They are the object of your meditation. If you become aroused continue to focus on the sensation of bliss. Abandon self interest. Have interest only in Love

You can decide how long you’d like to do this. Say 5, minutes, 20 minutes or an hour? Or no time and just let it unfold. Commit to the process to let you whole body be aroused, dripping wet in longing, pushed to the edge through the power of attention and presence.  

3. The Gracing of Eachother 

For this meditation you are touching your partner. If you are alone imagine touching your lover or being touched by them. You’re not losing anything by continuing to know yourself. Focus on the areas that are most sensitive paying attention to what your lover likes and exploring their terrain. 

Take time around the lips, neck, breast and nipples, armpit, cheeks, nape of neck … Gently biting, licking, kissing, breathing. Playing with these. Notice when your lover or you stop responding to an area and move to another spot. 

Did you know the lips have over one million nerve endings and delicate skin? They are one of the most sensitive areas of your body. So slow it down. Feel yourself touching your lover.  

Explore speeds especially the power of slowing down an erotic experience. You can hold your hands or fingers on certain spots and play around with light subtle touch and more pressure. You can play around with the way you look at your lover while you do this. Explore smiling and laughter and intense looks of longing. If sensation becomes too sensitive and you are about to cum and you do not want to, return to looking at each other

GROW THE HEAT OF PLEASURE WITH ENERGY & WORDS

Pause throughout the day to send energy of desire through your eyes and energy state. Send them your energy of longing and adoration. 

Use your voice to remark on how exquisite your lover is. The way they look: “I have never seen anyone as beautiful/sexy/handsome as you” “Right now I want to do this to you …” Go beyind appearances and remark on the ways their character turns you on. 

Let sounds come out of you when you see them to express your desire include moans, sighs etc. Be playful, smile at them, tease them but ofcourse from the heart of love. Say what you want to say including dirty talk, abandoning fear, anxiety and shame. Don’t try too hard! Send them notes if you are away from each other. 

TRUST

Explore the topic of trust. Are there places you each hold back because you don’t feel you can trust fully. Or ways your partner shows up that allows you to trust them. What would support you each to open up further? 

CONTINUAL UNVEILING

Talk with your partner about how you both like to be pleased. What you are drawn to that they already do and other desires you may have. If not partnered, know this for yourself for the future. Once again these don’t have to be met exactly but opens the door to explore what you are craving underneath the desire as well. Talk about ways you can ignite greater polarity and if you are single, ways you want to play with receptive vs. direct energy in your own life right now.

What am I to do, love, loved one?
I don't know how others love
or how people loved in the past.
I live, watching you, loving you.
Being in love is my nature.
-Pablo Neruda